So many blessings I should be more thankful for but sometimes I tend to oversee them.
God brings people into my life who He uses later on to inspire me, I have learned. She was merely a co-worker for so long, sharing brief stories in passing, and only knowing the surface of each other for two and a half years. I have been shown these past couple of weeks what a special person she really is, and the value of what a friend is. A light has been shown on such a dark room filled with confusion, misunderstanding, anger and even bitterness. I have now found out that I am not alone in this room! What has been one of the hardest things in my life has also been a difficult path for my dear friend. I somehow felt compelled to open up to her just a little bit about what I felt and ironically, she has been in my shoes! Not just a smidgen, but very similar in such a eery but wonderful way. Our long talk over a lunch has helped me to understand some other views and to know that I am certainly NOT alone in my struggle. Both of us can agree that the hurt it brings and the sadness may never go away- that it would still be on our minds somehow- but with time our wounds can heal and we can only pray and find supportive people to talk to when things get tough. But it *is* a little easier to deal with and the weight I feel isn't so heavy.
I am just inspired by the friendship that God has put in front of me! It's completely amazing. It shows me how much more faith I need to have in not only God, but in myself. I doubt myself and my abilities to strive way too often. And it shows. Sure, I may tough things out on the outside but I am completely mush on the inside. I need guidance, I need understanding and I need my faith restored more often. And I need good friends like the one I got to really know recently.
And at that moment I also realized that I had an opportunity to invite somebody along a spiritual journey. To offer my godly example that I really should have been showing for so long, and shamefully I haven't. My baby shower happened to be at the church Danny and I attend, and my special friend was kind enough to show up with her daughter and they both really mingled well with the other ladies and kids that were there. The next day I emailed and thanked her for coming and for the long, much needed talk, and I offered her the invitation to come to church with us sometime soon. This is an example of me doubting the abilities I have been given. I didn't expect her to be responsive to the invitation, but much to my surprise she wrote me back telling me how she was really interested in coming to our church with her daughter, and she even talked to her husband about it! This would be such a wonderful thing for her, too, as her husband is currently deployed in Iraq and won't be back until next summer. She has been having a tough time lately with her husband being gone fighting a war and she needs to be surrounded by loving arms. When she mentioned the idea of church to him, he expressed to her that he'd love to start going when he returned home!
This whole experience has really lifted my spirits and I am just in awe of what God has shown me. I am capable, I can heal, I can have faith, I can have a great friend, I too can inspire!
Though the road of life still be long and winding, I can be sure that I have a hand to hold through every step in front of the other. And loving people God has surrounded me with to cheer me on.
