Life is rough sometimes. Especially when you shoot yourself in the foot.
Literally.
I often have to fight the urge and bite my tongue.
If you posses any kind of weapon, be it a gun, shouldn't it come with a requirement for a common sense license? One must know what the trigger would do if you pull it. Yes, it will go off and the bullet inside of your 9mm hand gun will then burst out of the barrel and into whatever solid object it strikes. That's the way kinetics works! You sure are lucky, sir. That it was your foot in the way and not say, your face.
And don't call 9-1-1 screaming at me to "hurry up." First, I am not the one coming to save you, oh damsel in distress. Second, just because your foot is throbbing doesn't mean I can press the "easy" button to turn on the turbo speed to the ambulance who is on its way (which, by the way, was coming since about 20 seconds since you dialed our 3-digit number).
And don't think I can't understand any Spanish, sir. Cussing yourself out doesn't make the pain any better.
And please stop yelling in my ear. That does no good either as I can't really understand your hollering, whining little weasel voice you imitate.
Sunday's are meant for laziness and church. Not playing with guns and cursing in Spanish. Didn't your mother teach you any better? Maybe he didn't have a mom.
Either way, his finger pulling trick was still smarter than the gentleman who recently experimented with sticking a couple of gerbils up his rear end just for the heck of it.
"Did you just say gerbils?"
"Unfortunately, yes."
Long pause.
(instructions for caller)
"ok sir, please put away any family pets. Gather up your medications, unlock your door, turn your outside lights on"
I coulda swore he had already put up his family pets.
**side note**
I swear on behalf of everything I believe in that I only post stories that are true in nature. Anonymous, but true.
Monday, January 31, 2011
What is the ADDRESS to your emergency??
Someday, more likely than not, you will have to call 9-1-1 (if you haven't already). I want to inform those people who are not in the life-saving or dispatch business of some important things. But first, let me inform you that depending on where you live, every 9-1-1 dispatch is a little bit different.
If you live in the OKC and surrounding area (EMSA's coverage area) then this definitely applies to you!
We have procedures and protocols like most companies do. We must adhere to these policies, mostly because this is the most effective way we can make sure our job is done right. What we do is accurate and the information we seek to obtain is very important for all involved.
When you call 9-1-1, the person you initially talk to is a police dispatcher. They shunt your call to the most appropriate agency whether it be for a fire, medical emergency, or they'll remain on the line for other matters. So, when you get to us this is the first thing we say:
"this is EMSA, what is the address of your emergency?"
What should the typical response by the caller be, you ask? What would you say?
Hmm...maybe your ADDRESS? You'd be surprised at how many people immediately scream in my ear or start spouting off a bunch of mumbly jibberish that I cannot comprehend. And it's quite frustrating when all I asked for was your address!
Ok, so maybe sometimes people's brains get mushy when they're stressed. But if you call 9-1-1, please be cooperative! There is nothing we can do for you if you are a-demanding b-not listening c-interrupting me, and d-cussing me out.
These are the responses I typically get when I answer the phone with the opening question as mentioned above:
- "well, it's not really an emergency, but..."
- "yeah hi, my momma, yeah she been hurtin' in her back for about 2 weeks and..."
- "now listen, I don't want you coming with your lights and sirens now..."
- "Oh my God, #*$&@! *$&@! #($@)! She's not breathing! Please! Just help! Hurry up!"
- "Ugh...my what? Oh, I don't know my own address, ugh..."
- "Hi, yeah I need a ride to the emergency room because I don't have my own car..."
If I had to choose, the most frequent response we get out of people is similar to the second one listed. People don't even tune in to what the person on our side is saying. We don't want to know what's going on with you just yet, it's kinda important to know where to send help first, don't ya think?!
Don't assume that when you call for help that we know where you are. In these days and ages, cell phones are the majority of our communication. I personally do not own a home telephone. If you ever call 9-1-1 from a cell phone, we do not necessarily know where you are at. Your cell phone will hit off of nearby phone tower, and within usually a 1-2 mile radius you are located from that tower. So when seconds count and you have no clue what address you're at, or a cross street you're standing at, what do we do?
One other note: if you or someone nearby needs an ambulance and you are talking to one of us on the phone, we need to ask you a series of questions. Our job isn't just to get an ambulance to you, but to also obtain important information about what is going on. Even if it's something as simple as an elderly man falling and hurting his leg, it could also be something serious and dangerous like a drive-by shooting. We ask lots of questions so we can let our paramedics know what they are coming into, that way they can be prepared mentally and grab extra equipment if needed. If there is a serious emergency going on, we are also trained and certified to give you very helpful and important instructions to start immediate care to the patient. We also do it to keep our emergency crews safe. Our protocol is that we do not enter a crime scene (assaults, shootings, stabbings, etc) without the police on the scene first.
Therefore, please be patient with us when we ask you questions. It is for the good of the whole situation if you let us do our job to help you! Just know that while we talk, it is NEVER holding up the help that is on the way to you. Once we have your address verified, and ambulance already starts coming throughout the rest of our conversation.
This business is more than meets the eye. So many misconceptions about my job that I hope everyone I know can understand just a little bit better. You may only call 9-1-1 very rarely in your lifetime. But when you do, your experience can literally mean life or death for someone, and I hope you can understand how important simple listening skills can be!
If you live in the OKC and surrounding area (EMSA's coverage area) then this definitely applies to you!
We have procedures and protocols like most companies do. We must adhere to these policies, mostly because this is the most effective way we can make sure our job is done right. What we do is accurate and the information we seek to obtain is very important for all involved.
When you call 9-1-1, the person you initially talk to is a police dispatcher. They shunt your call to the most appropriate agency whether it be for a fire, medical emergency, or they'll remain on the line for other matters. So, when you get to us this is the first thing we say:
"this is EMSA, what is the address of your emergency?"
What should the typical response by the caller be, you ask? What would you say?
Hmm...maybe your ADDRESS? You'd be surprised at how many people immediately scream in my ear or start spouting off a bunch of mumbly jibberish that I cannot comprehend. And it's quite frustrating when all I asked for was your address!
Ok, so maybe sometimes people's brains get mushy when they're stressed. But if you call 9-1-1, please be cooperative! There is nothing we can do for you if you are a-demanding b-not listening c-interrupting me, and d-cussing me out.
These are the responses I typically get when I answer the phone with the opening question as mentioned above:
- "well, it's not really an emergency, but..."
- "yeah hi, my momma, yeah she been hurtin' in her back for about 2 weeks and..."
- "now listen, I don't want you coming with your lights and sirens now..."
- "Oh my God, #*$&@! *$&@! #($@)! She's not breathing! Please! Just help! Hurry up!"
- "Ugh...my what? Oh, I don't know my own address, ugh..."
- "Hi, yeah I need a ride to the emergency room because I don't have my own car..."
If I had to choose, the most frequent response we get out of people is similar to the second one listed. People don't even tune in to what the person on our side is saying. We don't want to know what's going on with you just yet, it's kinda important to know where to send help first, don't ya think?!
Don't assume that when you call for help that we know where you are. In these days and ages, cell phones are the majority of our communication. I personally do not own a home telephone. If you ever call 9-1-1 from a cell phone, we do not necessarily know where you are at. Your cell phone will hit off of nearby phone tower, and within usually a 1-2 mile radius you are located from that tower. So when seconds count and you have no clue what address you're at, or a cross street you're standing at, what do we do?
One other note: if you or someone nearby needs an ambulance and you are talking to one of us on the phone, we need to ask you a series of questions. Our job isn't just to get an ambulance to you, but to also obtain important information about what is going on. Even if it's something as simple as an elderly man falling and hurting his leg, it could also be something serious and dangerous like a drive-by shooting. We ask lots of questions so we can let our paramedics know what they are coming into, that way they can be prepared mentally and grab extra equipment if needed. If there is a serious emergency going on, we are also trained and certified to give you very helpful and important instructions to start immediate care to the patient. We also do it to keep our emergency crews safe. Our protocol is that we do not enter a crime scene (assaults, shootings, stabbings, etc) without the police on the scene first.
Therefore, please be patient with us when we ask you questions. It is for the good of the whole situation if you let us do our job to help you! Just know that while we talk, it is NEVER holding up the help that is on the way to you. Once we have your address verified, and ambulance already starts coming throughout the rest of our conversation.
This business is more than meets the eye. So many misconceptions about my job that I hope everyone I know can understand just a little bit better. You may only call 9-1-1 very rarely in your lifetime. But when you do, your experience can literally mean life or death for someone, and I hope you can understand how important simple listening skills can be!
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